For Sale: One Silver Cat

 FOR SALE: ONE SILVER CAT

For Sale: One silver cat

adorable and not too fat

but she scratches the hell out of sofas

I’ll make no bones about that.

She’s lost a few of her lives

because she brings me out in hives

when she claws holes in the carpets

and eats all my chives.

The basils have all turned black

(she pees on them behind my back)

and last night she poo’d in the parsley pot –

I hope it’s survived the attack.

I can’t visit the bathroom at night

without switching on all the lights

in case she’s sicked up a fur-ball.

(I’ve stepped in a few, all right!)

But this morning was the last straw

when I woke up at half-past four

to find a dead rat on my pillow.

I just can’t take anymore!

If you can put up with all that,

you can have my silver cat

but I may come round to reclaim her

because I’ll miss her – despite all that. :-)

© Rosie Rose